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DEVELOP CAPACITY
‘Femi Adekunle on Parenting
My last article was on DIGITAL PARENTING, and the message was clear: as contemporary parents in the digital age, we have to develop capacity.
When planning to raise kids, many do not have an idea of what they are entering into. Generally, in the African culture, once a couple gets joined in marriage, the expectation of kinsmen kicks in – what happens in nine months? In fact, the couple themselves are excitedly looking forward to the arrival of their baby. Parenthood begins – the shopping, baby showers, etc, but they hardly give a thought to the tasking nature of raising babies and the responsibilities that come with it, i.e.. real parenting. I know someone whose baby was diagnosed with sickle cell anaemia. As a result of her baby’s incessant sickness, she was so depressed that she lost enthusiasm for living. All of them; herself, her husband, and their innocent child became victims.
Postpartum suicide is real. A survey in the USA shows that suicides account for as much as 20 per cent of postpartum deaths. Mothers have also been reported to murder their babies for reasons other than mental illness.
Part of the problem is that people fail to develop capacity in anticipation of their parenting responsibility as a result of which they get overwhelmed. When our first child was born, my elder brother gave my wife a book that speaks to what to expect in the first eighteen months of a child. It was so big I was discouraged to read. Years later, I picked the book from my library and started reading, and I discovered with regrets what benefits I have missed that would have come handy while my daughter was a baby. Thank God my wife read it.
Developing capacity helps to grow the maturity we need as parents, and this supersedes and outlasts the euphoria of having children; it is the element that will provide the stamina that supplies stability when challenges come.
It is imperative for parents to develop capacity physically, mentally, financially, emotionally, and even socially. A parenting capacity well-developed will see you through the turbulent days ahead.