LISTEN ‘ Femi Adekunle on Parenting
LISTEN
‘ Femi Adekunle on Parenting
This sounds so ordinary and simple I had to resist the urge to change the title.
“Listen earnestly to anything your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff” – Catherine M. Wallace.
Quite often, when, as parents, we say we are spending time with our children, we are actually not. Rather, we are marking time. We are so busy and engrossed in doing our own thing that unknown to us, we are losing them in our very presence. Usually, children of all ages are always eager to talk to their parents, including adults. We must listen to all of their verbal, non-verbal and para-verbal communications. With their stuttering, grunting and babbling, even toddlers are communicating stuff which, but for the speech constriction, are as serious as what grown-ups are communicating.
A parent once asked me that she doesn’t have any problem listening, but the problem is getting her daughter to talk; that in as much she wants to listen, her teenage daughter would simply not talk to her. This is a different conversation entirely, that may have to do with the child’s personality and her arrival into the turbulent teenage years, but suffice to say, that some children of any age and not just teenagers, could be very reticent and reserved. That is my daughter’s nature and I could connect. To be able to elicit their thoughts, it’s important to intentionally create opportunities for conversations. You can take them out, take a stroll together or generally create that enabling environment where they will open up to you, especially when you know or sense they need help.
Also, encourage communication. Let them know that you are interested in even the trifling events of their day. Ask them about their best friend in school, their naughty classmate, or what they enjoyed most at their friend’s birthday party.
You should also model what you expect. Depending on their age-appropriate capacity to comprehend things, let them into some of the happenings in your life too. What happened in your office, your plans for the new year, how a bad driver upset you etc., are things you can share with your kids. Note that once you are able to boost communication between you and your kids, almost anything is possible. You would have bridged a major gap that will pave for you the way for savvy parenting. You would have built a veritable platform where your children will conveniently share with you their doubts, fears and insecurities Once you achieve this, you have won a major parenting laurel.
Note that once you are able to boost communication between you and your kids, almost anything is possible. You would have bridged a major gap that will pave for you the way for savvy parenting.
‘Femi Adekunle, a Parenting and Family Coach, writes from Abuja, Nigeria.
Email: femi383@gmail.com
WhatsApp: 08055103512
31st October, 2025
