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MENTORING YOUR CHILDREN
‘Femi Adekunle on Parenting
My daughter is quite reserved. She matured emotionally quite fast. As she entered her teenage years, we really didn’t have problems with her in the areas where her age mates usually prove difficult.
However, as a result of her reserved nature, she withheld some information from us, not because she didn’t trust us to handle it, but simply because of her introverted nature.
There is someone who happens to be my wife’s colleague with whom, somehow, she feels very comfortable. He was always asking after her spiritual and social development and started mentoring her unsolicited. Despite being a guy, we discovered that my daughter opened up to him on so many things and he was so helpful to her in many areas, giving her invaluable advice. When we saw the results, we encouraged him and appreciated his involvement in her life.
The mistake we make as parents is that we assume that we have all it takes to mentor our children. Make no mistake about it, your children need mentors, you inclusive. Put differently, you are just one of the many mentors your kids need and will have. You obviously do not have all the information and instructions they need to succeed in life. If you did, you probably would not need to send them to school.
There are teachers who, for them, become mentors at every stage in their educational sojourn. They may also be family members or family friends. You will be shocked that your children will confide some things in outsiders that they will never share with you. Without mentors who will provide invaluable advice and direction, they will be given corrupted counsel on such issues by their peers, with disastrous consequences. Either way, they will have mentors!
All that you, however, need to do, is screen anyone whom you desire, or who offers, or towards whom your child gravitates to be a mentor. They must be people whose values align with your family values, with whom you and your child must be extremely comfortable. They must also personally gain your child’s confidence and protect their confidentiality.