NEVER THERE BEEN A SUPER PARENT; YOU WON’T EVER BE ONE ‘Femi Adekunle on Parenting
NEVER THERE BEEN A SUPER PARENT; YOU WON’T EVER BE ONE
‘Femi Adekunle on Parenting
I have read and heard a lot of things about being a super parent – super mum, super dad, super wife, etc. I have struggled to understand the concept and in fact accept the fact that it is not a fallacy. Are they supposed to be parents who excel at parenting, or parents who multi-task, or parents who have it all figured out perfectly, or parents whose children outshine others, or what exactly? Or is it just a hyperbole?
Many parents put themselves under unnecessary pressure to perform. They want to make their kids happy, raise the best kids, satisfy all their wants and needs, outperform other parents and outperform their own parents even if the latter didn’t do a bad job.
I once listened to a lady who boasted about how her kids read a book per week under her supervision. I was impressed and for a moment, I felt intimidated that I never achieved that with my children; didn’t even attempt it. But I was able to quickly overcome that feeling of inadequacy when I began to acknowledge my own strengths as a parent. There is possibly a family you envy whose dad is an avid karateka and their 12-year-old is already a black belt, but your own daughter is not, but is celebrated in her school for consistently being the best-behaved, which says a lot about the place of values in your own family.
I know someone who enjoys watching cartoon programmes with his kids. They sit together on the floor cracking up at Tom and Jerry, how I envied them! I tried to do the same with my kids and it’s like forcing a bitter pill down my throat. When they laugh hysterically, I wonder if it’s the same programme we’re watching. It was clear I was torturing myself joining them to watch cartoons, much as I tried to. But this fellow possibly cannot run around in the rain kicking balls with them in boxers, or putting up with them in the kitchen cooking, or telling them tortoise stories at bedtime, like I do.
There are many things you are good at that the other parent is not. Celebrate yourself. Locate your comfort zone. Let spouses complement each other for the good stuff they’re doing. Don’t beat yourself up; celebrate your strengths, others are possibly envying that which you despise.
If you are not a super parent, simply be a great one. You would have ticked the most crucial parenting performance box and that is sufficient.
There are many things you are good at that the other parent is not. Celebrate yourself. Locate your comfort zone.
‘Femi Adekunle, a Parenting and Family Coach, writes from Abuja, Nigeria.
Email: femi383@gmail.com
WhatsApp: 08055103512
19th September, 2025
