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PARENTING: Integrity Like A Child
By Femi Adekunle on Parenting
My friend and colleague told me a fascinating story. She went visiting her friend whose son brought out raffle tickets for her to buy. Let’s call him Caleb. It was end of the session in Caleb’s school and they were having end-of-the year events for which ticket booklets were distributed to the kids for sale to raise funds. Naturally, kids are usually excited about this and many of them go business-like with it. Caleb brought the tickets for my friend to buy and he was particularly vocal and persuasive as he marketed his tickets. My friend was impressed and to encourage Caleb, she bought a whole booklet from him. He was overjoyed. Then she asked, “what do I stand to win, as I must win oo…..! The boy instantly assured her that she would win, after all she bought not leaflets from the ticket, but a whole booklet. So, he was sure Aunty was going to win.
And Caleb’s assumption and assurance were not misplaced. By his calculations, for one person to buy a whole booklet, that increased the chances ofy winning, as opposed to people who bought only single leaflets. Besides, no one else had bought a whole booklet from him since he started marketing. On getting to school, he was one of the pupils that had the highest sales and he was informally on the honour’s roll. He was the cynosure of the other pupils’ eyes as even his teacher showered encomiums on him. He was therefore so impressed by Aunty’s gesture that the only way to reciprocate and show his gratitude was for Aunty to win.
D-day came and despite that there were several events lined up for the day, Caleb’s interest lay most in the raffle draw which was usually the last item on the day’s agenda. He waited impatiently for the raffle draw, and when it was time, he was glued to his seat, waiting for the winning tickets, one or even more of which he was so sure was going to be Aunty’s, and he would have delivered on his promise. The prize winners werey called – the numerous consolation gifts first, with the lucky winners coming out to receive their prizes, but Aunty’s name was not called. He was a bit disappointed, but then, the big prizes were still coming and in any case, Aunty deserved nothing less than one of these.
And then the main prizes – third, second and the star prize. Wait a minute…….Caleb did not hear Aunty’s name. Was he dreaming? Has he been absent minded while listening to the names? Was there an omission? How would he explain to Aunty who was not at the event and would be waiting for him to deliver her gift(s)? How would he ever repay this unusual benevolence? Right there where Caleb was sitting, he burst into tears – loud, uncontrollable wailing that attracted the attention of parents and teachers around. Caleb was miserable and dispirited. And after explaining to listeners and sympathizers what the matter was when asked, it was a mixture of amusement and pity for poor Tom. But Caleb was disconsolate. They had to, there and then, call my friend to speak with Caleb as he was inconsolable. Fortunately, they were able to reach her on her mobile phone and when she heard what the matter was, she had to pacify Caleb and only then was he lifted him from his state of depression.
When I heard the story, it was truly amusing. But it was at the same time touching becausey I saw in Tom, an exemplary, sterling and commendable display of innocent integrity – a virtue that is lacking in our society and the absence of which is at the root of a lot of woes bedeveling our nation. According to an on-line definition, integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. Another defined it as “a personal choice, an uncompromising and predictably consistent commitment to honour moral, ethical, spiritual and artistic values and principles”. Caleb’s behaviour epitomises these. He made a promise which he was not going to deviate from or be inconsistent with. He was committed to honouring his word in satisfaction of his conscience.
Our politicians and leaders lack integrity, and that is why they steal in every currency to store for generations after them. That is why they shamelessly decamp from one political party to another with reasons that are unintelligible to their gullible constituencies. That is why respected social critics will be offered political appointments and strangely, they find it easy to internalise and defend the policies they were up in arms against. That is why people are clinically guilty of the same things they loudly criticized when they have the opportunity to make a difference.
If only we could have integrity like a child, our world would be a better place to live in.
