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THE AMUSING PART OF CHILDREN
‘Femi Adekunle
Often, children are comic reliefs. As parents, we should see the fun in things and not be uptight as we are wont to, many times, especially when it comes to our children’s performance in any sphere or endeavour. We expect so much from them that failure to meet that expectation of ours leaves us so disappointed.
When my sons were about four years and about to ‘graduate’ from kindergarten (they are twins), it was end of the academic year and there was the usual flurry of activities – drama, recitations, literary renditions, parties and prize giving. Expectedly, the children would be involved in one activity or another. One of them was involved in a recitation. The children were to play professionals and recite to the audience what the professional does. He was given the role of ‘doctor’.
No one rested at home. He rehearsed and rehearsed and recited his lines every time in the house. He almost mumbled them while asleep. He told Grandma how his teacher knows he wants to be a doctor in future and gave him the role. He was so excited and asked us countless times if we were coming to watch his performance. We assured him at least one of us would be there.
On d-day, his mum was there to give him the necessary support. And when it was time for his presentation, he walked confidently to the podium and began to stutter: “I am a doctor….. I am a doctor….. I am a doctor……..”. He had forgotten his lines!
For the audience, it was an admixture of pity and amusement for the lad and spontaneously to encourage him, they clapped for him and cheered him with a loud ovation. His ‘aunty’ walked to the podium and gently took him backstage.
Poor mum! She was embarrassed – perhaps the only person in the audience that wasn’t amused. It was as though as his son fumbled, all eyes were on her. Alas, no one even knew she was the ‘doctor’s mum! As son was struggling to remember his lines, fountains of hot sweat were breaking forth from mum’s agitated pores. She sat there glued to her seat, helpless. What went wrong? Was he nervous? After all he still recited the lines like five times that morning! She felt bad, and beyond her own embarrassment, she felt bad for the poor ‘doctor’. She was wondering how bad he would feel for disappointing himself and mum whom he had hoped to impress. She was thinking about how inconsolable he would be and strategies to deploy to calm him down. She rehearsed all the niceties she would tell him to make sure he is encouraged
Many of us parents have been there. No blame on us; it’s just natural. When our expectations are not met with our children, we get disappointed, frustrated and feel a debilitating sense of self-betrayal. Sometimes, we feel we have failed. But there is something we need to constantly remind ourselves about: children will always be children, and we need to allow them to live out this period of their lives and amuse ourselves with some of the natural antics, frolics and clowning that this stage of life brings.
Anyway, since son has finished his role for the day, mum mustered the courage to go and preach to him. She expected to meet him sullen, moody and depressed, with the class ‘Aunty’ still pacifying him or something. She was surprised to see him jumping around with his friends as though the spectacle she just witnessed on the podium never happened. For a moment, she was relieved that half of her job was accomplished. And then she called him, hugged him and asked “what happened to you on stage? How come you forgot your lines?”
His answer was a shock, an answer that taught her, and me, this lesson in parenting that I am sharing. Shocked at mum’s question, he said with a puzzling brow on his forehead “but mummy, they clapped for me more than everybody!”
Over and out!
Femi Adekunle Esq, a Barrister writes from Abuja FCT Nigeria