DON’T MISS OUT ON THEM


When we had our twins, both boys, the excitement was indescribable. In as much as it was stressful, especially for my wife, we did not complain but rather knew that this was one exciting stress worth enduring. But, truth be told, there were seasons when we were overwhelmed and exasperated.

For twins, there is this myth that when one goes through an experience (e.g., sickness), the other must follow suit. This has no scientific or medical basis, but we experienced it! In order to give them maximum attention, my wife could not resume work from her maternity leave as she had to resign from her job. It was a tough decision to take, but it was inevitable – a huge sacrifice she made for the family. There were times I felt strongly like ‘let this season pass’. I looked forward to the days when we would stop changing diapers sometimes on an hourly basis; to when they would start walking and we would not need to carry babies anywhere we went; to when they would be grown enough to do house chores. When they started walking and straying in different directions, I saw the challenges of that stage and looked forward to when they would be more mature and be able to self-care.
Now that they are adults, it’s a different stage entirely, and I look back to those days when we would whine and complain, with nostalgia, as though we should rewind and have those days back.
This is a mistake many parents make. With hindsight, I now discover that every developmental stage of a child is extremely important, and there is something in it to savour. For every stage, there are not only lessons to be learnt, there are age-specific instructions to dispense to them, which, if missed, may significantly impact a child in the future, albeit negatively. Just like every stage has its challenges, it equally has its thrills and treats. If we miss them, we have missed out on something that can never be recovered. I nostalgically remember some of the school events my children participated in, and I’m grateful I attended. I also remember some which I could have but didn’t, again with regrets.

Lesson for young parents: whatever the challenges any stage of their development brings, there is a bright side to it, enjoy every moment of it. Be involved in their lives. Relish the thrills and the frills. In the years to come, you’ll be glad you did.