THEIR STRENGTH IS SUPERIOR TO THEIR FLAWS ‘ Femi Adekunle on Parenting
THEIR STRENGTH IS SUPERIOR TO THEIR FLAWS
‘ Femi Adekunle on Parenting
When I was young, I was very poor in mathematics (I still am). I struggled endlessly with that subject. While in primary and secondary (high) schools, one of the most dreadful punishments I could face was to be given a math problem to solve. We had a math textbook way back – Larcombe’s Primary Mathematics – sighting it alone was horror for me. It was like a symbol of torture. If there was ever going to be a red pen on my report card (yes, it was either blue/black, or red ink in those days), it was surely going to be mathematics. This was constant.
My parents aggravated the situation. They knew my weakness, and innocently, without meaning harm, wanted me to improve. While in primary school, I must never be caught reading anything besides Larcombe’s. While in secondary school, it was the same scenario. At the thought of mathematics, I seemed to have fever permanently and sometimes lost appetite for food. I eventually developed a phobia for the subject.
I grew up believing I was a dullard. It was in my fourth year in secondary school that I encountered a teacher that changed my life completely. I will never forget him. He taught me the English Language and Literature-in-English. He coordinated our Literary and Debating Society. He made me find my strengths. Through his mentorship and guidance for example, I discovered that I had writing skills. I overcame the complex foisted on me by my struggles with mathematics and started believing in myself. I discovered my energy fountain and never remained the same.
Many contemporary parents are like my parents. In our innocence and sincerity, we damage our children. We spotlight their weaknesses rather than their strengths. We are more paranoid about the foibles of our children than we are excited at their stamina. We set them on a rat race that they can never win, communicating to them that improving on their weakness is more important than excelling at their strength.
We forget that however highly improved a man can be in his area of weakness, he can never outshine some other person who operates in his natural forte. This is not to say that children’s weaknesses should be ignored, not at all. We must help them to improve so that they will not be impeded in life. However, let more energy be directed at honing their talents and you will see them attain their maximum potential.
We are more paranoid about the foibles of our children than we are excited at their stamina. We set them on a rat race that they can never win, communicating to them that improving on their weakness is more important than excelling at their strength.
‘Femi Adekunle , a Parenting and Family Coach, writes from Abuja, Nigeria.
Email: femi383@gmail.com
WhatsApp: 08055103512
13th March, 2026
