LET’S LESSEN THE PRESSURE BURDEN ON THEM ‘Femi Adekunle on Parenting
LET’S LESSEN THE PRESSURE BURDEN ON THEM
‘Femi Adekunle on Parenting
From toddlers to pre-schoolers to adolescents to adults, everyone is under different colorations of pressure.
A renowned professor told the story of how his mum sacrificed so much to educate him. He gained admission into the university at a time when the financial fortune of the family nosedived, and his dad could hardly support. She sold property, jewellery and worked extra hours to ensure his fees were paid. Each time mum paid for his tuition or bought books, she never failed to remind him that the only thing he could reward her with was to come out with a first-class degree. She said it so often that he was driven to performance by mum’s fears. He studied so hard that there was no option besides rewarding his mum with the dream performance of her son. It was a sweet ending. He came out top of his class with a first-class.
While I applauded this feat, I was unable to applaud the motivation that drove it. Good it ended the way it did; it could have been disastrously otherwise.
Parents put so much pressure on their children that they collapse under its excruciating weight. They desire their children to be the star actor in the school drama, be captain of the soccer team or lead the orchestra. I have seen parents brag about their 4-year-old kid who plays the piano so well, as though this makes him superior to the kid who cannot play at all. Can you enrol your son in soccer school for the sake of keeping fit, learning teamwork and having fun, rather than fabricate him into a ballon d’or laureate?
I know parents whose life ambition is to have their sons play in the English Premier League, and they are sweating it out! Don’t get me wrong, intentional parenting includes helping your children attain their maximum potentials. There is nothing wrong with motivating your child and helping them attain the greatest heights. But why push a child who is not graced or talented or even interested in soccer into an overdrive, simply because you want him to earn mega bucks in sports? At that point, it’s no longer about them, but about you, about self and ego. The point being made therefore, is that we should help them maximise their potential and boost their confidence without mounting undue pressure.
Teach them the simple but most important virtues of life: diligence, kindness, love, charity, empathy, maximising opportunities etc. If they can assimilate these, they will find their God-given passion, pursue it and excel in life, for these are the springboards that will catapult them into greatness. The pressure to be stellar and distinguished is indeed counter-productive. Life will put them under pressure anyway, why add yours?
From toddlers to pre-schoolers to adolescents to adults, everyone is under different colorations of pressure….. Life will put them under pressure anyway, why add yours?
‘Femi Adekunle, a Parenting and Family Coach, writes from Abuja, Nigeria.
Email: femi383@gmail.com
WhatsApp: 08055103512
27th March, 2026
